Dating violence continues to be a silent, persistent and deeply rooted reality in the emotional relationships of young people. It is not a new phenomenon, but it is a phenomenon that transforms, that adapts to social dynamics and that finds new ways of manifesting itself – often, so subtle that they go unnoticed even by the victims themselves. And that is precisely why prevention cannot start too late. It cannot be delegated just to the school, nor just to the family. It is joint, continuous and urgent work.
Talking about violence in dating is talking about control, jealousy, emotional blackmail, constant monitoring, sexual pressure, isolation and all microforms of violence that, because they are small, are so often normalized. It is these small cracks that, when ignored, pave the way for more serious forms of abuse. And this is where we fail as a society: in the inability to recognize that violence rarely starts with a punch. It starts with “let me see your cell phone”, with “I don’t want you to talk to him”, with “if you liked me, you would do this”.
Prevention requires relational literacy. It requires young people to learn, from an early age, to identify healthy behaviors and abusive behaviors. It requires them to understand that love is not measured in control, that jealousy is not proof of affection, that invasion of privacy is not care, and that emotional manipulation is not romantic. And this literacy does not arise spontaneously. It builds.
That’s why prevention has to start at home. Families need to talk about relationships, about limits, about respect, about consent. They need to teach, by example, that love is never confused with possession. And they need to be careful: many young people don’t ask for help because they are afraid of disappointing their parents, being judged or not being taken seriously. Silence is always violence’s greatest ally.
But the family is not enough. The school has an irreplaceable role. It is at school that young people spend a large part of their time, it is at school that they build relationships, it is at school that they observe models and social dynamics. School should be a space where dating violence is openly talked about, where myths are dismantled, where people are taught how to ask for help and where the experience of those who suffer is legitimized. Prevention cannot be a one-off activity, an annual lecture or a poster in the hallway. It must be integrated into the curriculum, practices and school culture.
Dating violence is not a problem for young people. It’s a problem for all of us. And as long as we continue to treat the issue as something distant, as something that “doesn’t happen here”, we will be failing to protect those who need it most.
Because preventing violence in dating is, above all, teaching how to love and respect, without hurting or hurting.
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