Dear Miss Manners: There is a lovely couple in my community in their 30s who have gone through fertility issues. They have just published an online campaign to raise money for adoption costs.
While I understand their desire to have a child, I find it very inappropriate.
I have seen jars looking for gifts for honeymoons, money to offset wedding expenses, trips abroad and now adopting a child! Frankly, I’m horrified.
GENTLE READER: Begging – the humiliating last resource of the desperate – has now become commonplace among those seeking help with bills or luxuries they cannot afford.
Not that Miss Manners considered having children a luxury. It should be available to everyone, but it is very expensive, and the enormous cost of adoption fees (or infertility treatment) would be just the beginning. Will this couple continue to beg for money for childcare, education, medical care and other necessities that the child will need?
He can understand why people sympathize with this couple. However, others have their own expenses and cannot be expected to subsidize those who are likely to be able to manage their own lives.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
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