Dear Miss Manners: I attended my friend’s wedding a year ago, and now her anniversary is coming up. However, in the last six months, the marriage doesn’t seem to be working well, and I’m honestly not sure if the couple is still together.
This makes me wonder if I should even mention her anniversary that day. I think the SMS “Happy Anniversary!” out of the question, and even posting something like, “Oh! A year ago we were all together celebrating you!” i feel like my friend would feel bad that her marriage didn’t work out the way she expected. But then it also seems rude not to say anything!
GENTLE READER: If you don’t know if the couple is still together, then Miss Manners infers that your own interactions with the bride have also been somewhat rare – complete with perhaps digital glimpses on social media.
In that case, you are not expected to remember the anniversary date exactly, so you can limit yourself to simply checking in, in the vernacular. If you invite her out for a meal around one year, it could be explained (as you learn more) as a sympathy visit or a celebration.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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