DEAR ABBY: My son married a beautiful woman “Noelle” two years ago. They live a few hours away and have a one-year-old son, my third grandchild. Noelle’s parents live 10 miles from my home. She and the kid go there almost every weekend but NEVER come see me. I haven’t seen them since the baby’s birthday five months ago.
My daughter lives down the street from Noelle’s parents. She wasn’t invited to the kid’s first birthday even though she’s the mother of his cousins, so I took her kids along. There were other people there, mostly adults and her cousin’s child.
We are not terrible people. There was never any ugliness between any of us. It hurts me a lot because they don’t recognize me as a grandmother or any of us as a family member. My son’s father was never allowed to meet the child and I don’t think he met Noelle either.
I have asked my son and daughter-in-law to bring the baby, leave him for the day or even overnight so we can spend some time and get to know him, but it never happens. What can I say to make them understand how much they are hurting the family and the child by avoiding us? I don’t want to make it worse. — DISAPPOINTED GRANDMA IN TEXAS
DEAR GRANDMA: This is a topic you should discuss with your son who seems clueless or completely ineffective. Does he realize what’s going on — that his parents have been completely pushed out of the picture? If the answer to that question is yes, maybe he can shed some light on why. If the answer is no, tell HIM how it made you feel. If you do, maybe it will come through. Better late than never.
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