Dear Erik: I am 61, widowed and still working full time as a registered nurse in a very busy hospice.
I lost my husband four years ago and since then I’ve had two health scares, been diagnosed with cirrhosis, sleep apnea and chronic anxiety, bought and sold two houses, bought a new car and built up significant credit card debt twice.
When I retire I won’t be able to afford my house so I will have to move (again). I understand and accept that these poor financial decisions may have been my way of dealing with grief, but I am now at a crossroads where I have the opportunity to retire next year and finally decide how and where I will spend my time.
You see, we’ve moved 13 times in my 36-year marriage. I don’t really have roots.
My problem is that I don’t know where to land in retirement. How do I figure it out? Due to my health issues I need help at times and should probably live near my family. But who? I can’t get involved. But I have to decide soon because I will have to move when I sell my current house next summer.
I think I’m afraid of making another financial mistake. I also fear that this decision will be somehow final. what are your thoughts
– Another move
Dear Move: The first thing you’ll want to do is talk to a financial advisor who can review your assets and debts and provide you with a concrete plan that will keep you financially solvent and help you gain some peace of mind. Medical issues and financial difficulties can create a fog of anxiety that obscures the way forward. It’s hard to make wise decisions or be sure you haven’t made a mistake.
If you don’t know where to find a financial advisor, ask friends or family if they work with someone they trust, or contact the National Association of Professional Financial Advisors (napfa.org). Your local senior center or public library will likely have financial counseling resources available as well.
Also, talk to your family members about the upcoming decision and the options you are considering. They will be able to give you information about the places they live and their ability to show themselves to you when needed. This will give you an idea of what your life might look like after retirement and give you better information to help you make a decision. Also talk to your doctors. If you need specialist care, they will be able to advise you on how to connect with them in other areas.
Finally, talk to friends in retirement communities about their experiences. You may find that one of these is an attractive and affordable option.
You don’t have to make these decisions alone; in fact, it is wiser not to. Ask for more information until you feel more confident. I understand that you may feel like you are cornered right now. But I want to assure you that you can find the next chapter that will bring you happiness and give you a sense of freedom.
Send inquiries to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him at Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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