But the mirage in the desert – as well as England’s quest for success in this Ashes campaign – has become a reality. It didn’t seem likely when Steve Smith (129) a Beau Webster (42) yesterday morning were ready to hang their heads and help Australia to an unassailable lead.
And even after Smith left out of the blue and Australia were all out for 567, the tourists still gazed longingly into the distance, adamant that they were approaching a thirst-quenching oasis, not an oasis. Zac Crawley to dismiss five balls into his second innings.
But Ben Duckett stuck with a steady 42. And then there was Jacob Bethelljockey-sized cavalry fearlessly rode into arid (yet strangely humid) conditions to double England’s total. Mitchell Starc he did his best. I know you do Scott Boland and Michael Neserand the rest of the offense trying to break down the 22-year-old No.3, who somehow knew exactly what to do in every situation. And in the end, everyone just shook hands with Bethell, well on top of the unbeaten 142 – and first first-class century – he will try to build on today.
The situation described above was not helped by a pitch that was accessible to the specialist spinner, further questioning Australia’s decision to pick a team without him. At least Smith knew what to do and let Webster work on some break which, let’s be honest, is the main reason for those late goals yesterday (Webster got rid of Harry Brook and Will Jacks during one over and added a limp Ben Stokewith for good measure).
A special mention also of the utter lack of judgment on the part of some of the batsmen, whose dismissal will leave Bethell in co-op Matthew Potts (undefeated to 0) only s Josh Tongue still to bat.
What is the moral of the story? Who the hell knows. Will it be done by lunch? You’d think so, given that England’s lead of 119 runs might not be much bigger before Australia bat again. Will Usman Khawaja open to provide a more fitting farewell than his last knock?
In the words of Manuel: “I know nothing”. First ball at 10am AEDT.

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