Dear Annie: My name is Claire and I feel embarrassed writing this because it sounds so small compared to what other people are dealing with. But it eats at me.
My best friend Jenna and I have been close since we were in our 20s. We texted all day, swapping stories about our kids, and took turns showing each other when life got messy. But lately I feel like I’m the only one calling. If I don’t write to her first, I won’t hear from her for several weeks. When I do, she responds with a quick “Crazy busy!” and then posts photos with other friends that night.
I finally asked if I had done something wrong. She laughed and said, “No, you’re fine,” as if I was being dramatic. I don’t want to beg for attention, but I also don’t want to silently lose someone I cared about.
How to deal with a friendship that fades away when the other person insists that everything is fine? — Missing Jenna
Dear Miss Jenna: You are not dramatic. You notice change, and change hurts, even though no one has done anything “wrong.”
Start by matching her efforts, not to punish her, but to protect your peace. Stop applying for a role you’ve already won. Occasionally say something warm and specific, like “I miss you. Want a quick coffee this week?” Then let her respond with her actions.
Also, don’t confuse social media with the seat chart. The photo is not a verdict. If Jenna is drifting, make room for another friendship without slamming the door. People who value you will make time, no excuses.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” it’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology—featuring popular columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation—is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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