DEAR ABBY: My husband and I (both male) have been together since 2007. We moved to Arizona in 2010. Most of our family lives in the Midwest. We visited our families as often as possible, at least every other year. Our son-in-law refuses to let us sleep at his house when we visit. His excuse is that he doesn’t want to explain to his two daughters why we sleep in the same bed. (My daughters are 6 and 8.)
My husband and I no longer feel comfortable around our son-in-law and have told our daughter that we think it would be best to skip this year’s visit. She offered to accommodate us in a hotel. We declined the offer and said we had other friends to visit. The daughter then offered to come visit us with her granddaughters. We also declined this offer.
Are we doing the right thing? We feel that the son-in-law is using his daughters as an excuse for his own homophobic feelings towards us. — NOT WELCOME IN THE WEST
DEAR NOT WELCOME: I see nothing positive to be gained by punishing your daughter and your 6- and 8-year-old grandchildren who have offered viable alternatives because their father is uncomfortable with your sexual orientation. Have your daughter visit and bring the kids. Cultivate a strong relationship with everyone. If you succeed, your narrow-minded son-in-law may be increasingly marginalized.
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