Dear Annie: I never thought I’d write about this in the advice column, but I really am back.
I am a 34 year old female with two dogs, Bella and Murphy. They are both saved and have been with me through the break up, the move and the death of my father. I joke that they are my “first babies”, but there is a lot of truth to that. My evenings are built around walks, snuggling on the couch and muddy paw prints by the door.
Six months ago I started dating an amazing man I’ll call “Evan”. He is nice, funny, responsible and treats me really well. I see a future with him. The problem is that he doesn’t like dogs. At all. He is not allergic. She just finds them messy, loud and “too much”. He is polite to Bella and Murphy, but clearly dislikes having them in the house and has indicated that he could never live with the dogs full-time.
I feel like my heart is being pulled in two directions. I love this man, but I also love my dogs and can’t imagine giving them up.
Am I stupid to think this relationship can work, or is there a way to build a life where I don’t have to choose between the person I love and the dogs that loved me all along? — Caught between paws and partners
Dear Caught: You are not stupid. You are facing a very real compatibility problem. Dogs don’t throw pillows. They are family.
Bella and Murphy were there before Evan. They are part of your daily life and your heart. Anyone who wants a future with you has to at least respect that bond. Ann Landers might say that if a man can’t share the couch with your dog, he doesn’t deserve a front row seat in your life.
Talk to him clearly. Tell him the dogs are staying and ask what he would need to make him more comfortable. If he can bend, you might have something to build on. If he expects you to give them up, then he has already answered you.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” it’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology—featuring popular columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation—is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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