DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend came to a party and brought a can I gave her at Christmas. It was filled with homemade curry nuts and she ate them and rinsed the can. She apologized for not returning it to me sooner and left it on the kitchen counter.
Last Christmas, I gave another friend a few small packages of fancy store-bought popcorn that I put in a basket that I bought and decorated specifically as part of that gift. The basket was later returned to me.
I’ve always considered a container – whether it’s a can, basket or jar that contains food or other small gifts – to be part of the gift. It is intended to be kept or donated by the recipient, but not returned to the donor.
This has happened to me often enough to make me wonder if I’m being rude if I don’t return the containers I receive as gifts. I have always kept them either for use in my house or as gifts for other people. Should I return them?
GENTLE READER: Expected to return containers that are clearly part of the original household and used to carry informal gifts – such as homemade cakes or leftovers from family dinners.
You keep everything else, although Miss Manners still wonders if Salome should have returned the silver tray.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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