Dear Erik: My daughter is getting married in October. The immediate family has rooms in a small inn on site.
For many reasons, big and small, my husband and I no longer share a bedroom. On a busy wedding weekend, I need a good night’s sleep and the occasional silence that comes with my own room.
My daughter wants me to give her friend my room. I said no. Am I unreasonable? PS We pay for everything.
– Mother of the bride
Dear Mother: No, no, you are not being unreasonable. Is this room the only room in town? Can’t a friend stay on the street or around the corner? I understand it’s your daughter’s special day and she may want things just like that, but it’s not like you’re using the other room to store clothes. You have a need and you fulfill that need. And it will help you show up better for your daughter. But even if it’s just because a good night’s sleep is what you need, that’s reason enough. There are plenty of other options. Get a good night’s sleep.
Dear Erik: This is in response to “Game Play,” a letter from someone whose friend suffered from cognitive decline. The letter writer said the drop affected the card game the group regularly plays.
I had a traumatic brain injury a few years ago. It changed my life radically (not for the better). A friend may want to research brain injury to learn more about what her friend is going through.
As a favor to your friend, offer to go with her to the doctor and take notes on what the doctor says. It can be hard for a friend to understand and stressful to admit to a doctor.
Offer rides to places she needs. Also, if she drives or gets there somehow, she may arrive somewhat exhausted and tired. As a group, figure out how to help by arranging rides or carpooling and maybe paying for it so she can safely meet up with the group.
Please keep inviting her to the game. Social contact is important for everyone and will also help her as she continues her journey to health.
– I was there
Dear Been There: These are great ways to think more about showing up to a friend. Continuing to involve her in games is great, but it’s also important to remember that as her life and abilities change, so will the friendship.
Dear readers, Happy 2026! I am grateful for the opportunity to spend another year with you.
Send inquiries to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him at Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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