Dear Miss Manners: At a company party, one of my colleagues decided not to drink the wine offered. During a round of toasts, she was admonished – in a good-natured way – by her colleagues for lifting a glass of water. They said it was bad luck to roast someone with water.
Aside from the luck angle, is there any rule of etiquette that applies to what’s in the glass used for the toast?
GENTLE READER: Technically – a qualifier Miss Manners uses to emphasize that there are more important things to consider – technically, tradition says not to drink water.
But now the most important thing: First, it is rude to correct another person’s behavior. And secondly, in a work environment where you may not know each co-worker’s personal situation, it is also foolish to point out someone who is abstaining from alcohol.
Whoever reprimanded will find that claiming it was in good faith will not help them as a defense against their wrongdoing.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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