Dear Miss Manners, I am glad that our daughter is teaching her children (ages 4 and 7) about giving thanks. My question is about the version of this electronic card.
The written note must be stamped and addressed by the parent, and maybe run over to the child to inspire them to write. But the results are a delight for both the recipient (sweet childish notes, typos and all!) and the sender (learning to express gratitude).
With the e-card, one wonders if the child had a role at all, and if so, what did they learn from it. Even if a child can write, does a postal birthday card attached to a package or monetary gift only deserve an electronic postcard response?
This can be a problem that generations look at quite differently – that sent thank you cards, birthdays and anniversaries can be seen as charming but archaic.
If etiquette is any indication that we’re moving with the times, I’ll accept those electronic thank-you notes just as happily as handwritten ones. (And if so, I suppose text messages and regular emails will do as well.) At this point, though, I’m a little disappointed.
GENTLE READER: That’s because your daughter taught part of the lesson, but not the difficult part.
That gifts require acknowledgment is the first major lesson, especially since it is no longer universally practiced. I know it’s valuable.
What she doesn’t seem to have learned is that it’s not enough to just send a receipt, like the red text, which is probably pre-folded. The expression must be rather personal. Even toddlers can be encouraged to say something sincere and specific – about the presence and kindness of the giver.
This is a lesson of even deeper value than the essential social one.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
Leave a Reply