DEAR ABBY: I am a very overweight woman, but I have lost 50 pounds from my highest weight and continue to lose weight at a consistent but slow pace. My A1C is now at the pre-diabetic level so I know my efforts are making a difference. I recently had a terrible bout of sciatica and arthritic knee pain, which prevented me from going the way I envisioned.
A good (so I thought) friend who was affected by my cancellation suggested that maybe my weight was causing my sciatica and arthritis and if I lost more weight it would be better. (DUH!!) Lots of skinny people suffer from sciatica and arthritis and I thought her comment was condescending, hurtful and disrespectful. I don’t know what I feel, except I’m going to throw canned ham at her. She already did.
When another dear friend died and I expressed my grief and cried, that same “friend” suggested that I would do better to get out and socialize more. It was during COVID.
Can I tell her something? Should I ignore her comments and continue with the “friendship” or is it time to move on? I’d love to scold her, but I see no point in confronting her softer side with overt aggression. Is there a single, good, deadly one-liner that I can use? — LOSING SLOW IN NEW YORK
DEAR SLOW LOSER: As I see it, you have two ways to play this hand. The next time this woman says something grossly insensitive, tell her this is her third strike and repeat what you wrote to me about what comes out of her mouth. Or just do yourself a favor and put it away from now on. (Maybe she was trying to help you – in some special way – or she’s clueless.)
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