DEAR MISS MANNERS: A neighbor had a Christmas party last year. She invited a lot of people and it was pretty crowded. She prepared a variety of delicious food and provided some drinks. This year, she sent out invitations to a post-Christmas open house and asked guests to bring food. No request for confirmation of participation was provided and no phone number was provided.
I don’t want to go. Do I have to tell her? My husband says we should bring food, stay 10 minutes and then leave.
GENTLE READER: Nice try: Even though no phone number was provided and no response was specifically requested, etiquette still requires you to respond to the invitation (even though Miss Manners knows no one else will).
You must RSVP – but declining an invitation is just as polite as accepting.
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Dear Miss Manners: Are we obligated to travel with friends who do not share our passions, routines, or interests?
Over time, we’ve vacationed with many of our friends, so we’ve come to understand who we want to be with on our adventures. But how do you handle friends who ask where and when the next trip will be, when would we prefer to travel without them?
GENTLE READER: You don’t even have to travel with friends with whom you share the same passions, routines and interests. But Miss Manners demands that you refrain from talking about the glory of your proposed destination.
When asked where and when the next trip is, you don’t need to share plans at a stage where they can be changed, and you shouldn’t be dragged into planning meetings. This way, you can describe your trip as “already fully booked” if you’re traveling with others — or “Finally a chance to get away alone” if you’re not.
(Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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